There is a particular character many of us have met in our careers.
They arrive with a fanfare. A big title. A big salary. And a reputation that somehow always seems to survive the wreckage they leave behind.
The ink is barely dry on the contract and already they are restless.
They have not met the team.
They do not yet understand the product.
They could not explain the customer problem if you gave them a whiteboard and an hour.
But they know one thing with absolute certainty.
Everything needs to change.
New website.
New brand.
New message.
New colours.
New fonts.
New positioning.
New strategy.
Tear it down. Start again. Make it visible. Make it loud. Make it look like momentum.
That is what the song Champagne CMO is about. And I have met so many…!
Not bad people. Not even always untalented. But leaders who mistake vanity for progress and optics for impact. Who reach for the biggest, shiniest levers first because they are the most visible, the most award friendly, and the easiest way to signal importance.
The song pokes fun at a familiar pattern.
The rebrand before the revenue problem is understood.
The AI strategy before the go to market is fixed.
The keynote before the pipeline.
The awards table before the sales forecast.
Every year, a new buzzword. A new bandwagon. A new silver bullet.
Big Data.
The Cloud.
Web3.
Blockchain.
The Metaverse.
Artificial Intelligence.
Not as tools in service of a clear commercial problem, but as costumes to be worn. Language to be paraded. Saying the things they think their bosses and the masses want to hear.
Right now, it is Artificial Intelligence. Crowbarred into every conversation. Setting off red flags with every soundbite.
Do not get me wrong. Real AI is coming and it will continue to get better and better. But the Champagne CMOs claiming they have increased productivity by 35 percent or that every new product they launch is now AI led are not people you should be listening to, let alone hiring.
If you put a computer in front of them and said show me, they would not know where to start. But that does not stop them climbing on stages and pretending they are leading the way.
Underneath the veneer is a simple truth. Real B2B marketing is hard. And leadership is harder still.
It means doing your best with messy data.
It means listening to customers.
It means aligning with sales.
It means being accountable when the numbers do not move. Yet.
That work is slow. Unsexy. And rarely comes with a trophy or a pedestal.
So instead, some leaders reach for theatre.
They polish the brand while the engine misfires.
They talk transformation while sales squirm.
They chase awards while the team quietly burns out.
And when the cracks start to show, they do what they have always done.
Move on.
New role. New title. New narrative.
Eighteen months later, a golden goodbye and a fresh stage to perform on.
Champagne CMO is not really about one person. It is about a system that rewards confidence over competence, presentation over substance, and short term optics over long term value creation.
It is about how easy it is to look like a leader and how hard it is to actually be one.
The irony is that the best CMOs I have ever worked with look nothing like this:
They do not arrive with a rebrand. They arrive with a desire for context.
They do not lead with slogans. They lead with listening.
They do not chase every new trend. They make sure the boring foundations are in place.
They do not need champagne moments to feel important. They care far more about whether the business is healthier, the team is stronger, and the customer is better served than it was a year ago.
That is the quiet punchline of the song.
Real leadership does not need performance, a parade of buzzwords, or the most expensive bottle in the room.
It just needs to do the work.
How many Champagne CMOs could you name over a drink?
Listen to Champagne CMO on Marketing Mixtape
