"Hi Rich,
I’m 31 and less than a year into my first Head of Marketing role. It’s just me, an intern and a full-service agency.
I am really struggling with a manager who micromanages everything I do. Every decision, every slide, every email seems to need their input, and nothing I do is ever right.
He doesn’t let me have a budget let alone own it. Every spend has to go through him like I am Oliver Twist. It’s exhausting and it’s starting to knock my confidence. I think I am a good marketer. I’m trying to stay professional and deliver, but it’s driving me crazy and making me really anxious every time I go into the office. I think the chief commercial officer feels the same way I do but rather than us joining forces, he has adopted some of the CEO’s traits to carry favour.
How do I deal with a micromanager like this? Or should I just leave and take the blemish on my CV?"
Holly, East Kilbride, Scotland
Rich's Reply
Holly, I really feel for you.
Micromanagement is a super quick way to drain the energy, confidence and enjoyment from a role, and what you are describing is not light touch oversight. It is behaviour that needs to change.
The first thing to get straight in your head is this. This is almost certainly not about your competence. It is about anxiety, fear of failure, pressure from above, insecurity, and a need to retain control. When someone wants to approve every slide, every email and every pound spent, they are not trying to improve the work. They are trying to reduce their own sense of risk.
It also means that, in practice, you are not being allowed to do the job you were hired to do. A Head of Marketing role without budget ownership, decision authority and space to exercise judgement is not really a Head of Marketing role. It is a senior execution role with a bigger title. That distinction matters for your confidence and your future.
The second thing is that suffering in silence or quietly resenting it never fixes the problem. It just poisons the relationship and slowly chips away at your confidence, and, as you are already feeling, your sleep and mental health too. And absolutely nothing is worth the toll that those things take on your body.
The grown up, emotionally intelligent, move is to try and reset the working contract, calmly and professionally.
A one to one is the place to do it, and the framing matters. Not emotional. Not accusatory. Focus on outcomes and effectiveness, not on how controlling it feels.
Something like:
I want to do my best work here and take real ownership. At the moment I feel we are checking in so frequently that it slows things down and makes it harder for me to build confidence in my judgement. Could we be clearer on what you want visibility on, where you are happy for me to run independently, and what good looks like?
You are not saying stop micromanaging me. You are saying let’s agree trust, boundaries and expectations so I can do a better job for you.
Most micromanagers hover because they hate being surprised. The people I have seen successfully loosen that grip have removed the surprises. They over communicate. They flag risks early. They share progress before being asked. They close loops. They become predictable. Reliability is the fastest way to build trust with someone who is anxious.
Agree explicitly:
What decisions you own
What decisions they want sign off on
When they want updates
What success looks like
Then deliver against that relentlessly, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. You are playing the smarter game.
At the same time, protect your own headspace. Micromanagement has a nasty habit of making very capable people start doubting themselves. Keep evidence of your impact. Get perspective from peers or mentors. Remind yourself that one person’s need for control is not a verdict on your talent.
There is also a harder truth to acknowledge.
Some leaders do not change. Their need for control is part of who they are, not a phase. The fact that your Chief Commercial Officer has chosen to mirror the CEO rather than partner with you is a signal about the culture you are in. It is a culture that rewards appeasement upward more than trust sideways. That is not an easy place for a first time Head of Marketing to grow.
If you have the conversation, build trust, deliver consistently, and months later nothing has shifted, then this stops being a communication problem and becomes an environment problem.
At that point, the question is not how do I cope? but is this the place I want to become the leader I am trying to grow into. Is the toll it is taking worth it?
Leaving a toxic, controlling environment is not a blemish on a CV. Staying too long and letting it hollow out your confidence often is.
Start with clarity, not conflict. Build trust through predictability. Protect your confidence and your health.
And remember, being micromanaged says far more about the manager and the culture than it does about you. At least the experience will help shape which type of leader you do not want to become yourself.
Onwards.
